The most wonderful time of year!

It's the first day of fall and I'm super excited! Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, and since I have my own house now, I was able to decorate! I recently visited Hobby Lobby and all of the fall decor was on sale (uh oh!) Good for me, bad for my wallet ;) Here is my entertainment center and dining room table. Enjoy!

Leaf Garland + Christmas Lights= Autumn Garland

Found these on Pinterest and are super easy to make!

Piled up books create different levels of depth

Owl Scentsy filled with pumpkin marshmallow wax, YUM!

Owls are perfect for Fall & Year round

Cute little nieces and babushka dolls <3

Pumpkin Everything!

Fact: candy corn is my favorite candy! All year round!

Classic stories bound in vintage fabric. Yes please!

Can you tell that I like owls yet? Don't forget coffee! Mhmmm...

This lovely candle is from Bath & Body Works

Don't forget to decorate with a pug here and there. Oh and more owls! 

Love Always,

S. Smith    

Crunchy Leaves

                  I've written a little story for you! When I close my eyes and imagine November, this is what I see. Enjoy :)
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         I sigh in relief, and take a deep breath in. The bitter smell of my coffee laced with sugar rises up into up into my senses and it makes me smile. I'm siting in the largest bay window of the house reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. He crosses my mind, the boy at school with the rich chocolate colored hair, and deep green eyes. I blush. My thoughts escape me and I look out the window. I can hear rain hitting the roof, and the grey layer of clouds seem impermeable. My eyes focus on a single rain drop slipping against the window's glass. Slowly inching towards the sill. Outside the leaves have turned auburn and scarlet but the grass remains lush green. The oak trees stand like giants, and their leaves litter the ground. My reverie is interrupted by a small chime from my cell phone. It's my best friend, "So, I miss you and I'm so exited to watch movies with you in our sharing scarf!" This makes me smile. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around myself. My knit sweater is warm against my skin and the crisp air envelops me. Halloween has passed, and Thanksgiving is almost upon us. My entire family is here and I can't help but be happy just having them around me. I can hear my nieces laughing in the other room and my sisters in the kitchen with my mother. The men are all watching the game, and it makes me feel like we're all in one of those perfect family movies. 
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        I'd love to hear what November means to you. Please share in the comments below, on Facebook or find me on twitter @enviedesire.

Love Always,
S.Smith 

Mumbo Jumbo

          Do you ever just get the urge to write everything down? Or just have an inkling to just sit down and write something? anything? I honestly have no point in writing this post. I just feel like I have a million and one thoughts running through my mind and need to write them out.

          Lately (the last few days) I have been feeling really grateful for the things I have. I'm not sure if it's because I got to go shopping and buy lots of goodies, or if it's the comfort of having friends around and going on adventures with them. 

          I was sitting at our friends house just last night, and I was studying for a class. I had the thought that even though I'm sitting here, doing something I could be doing on my own couch, I was happy that I had people around me. Somehow having their two daughters and Bean running around, the music from their radio, and the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen was comforting. Almost nostalgic. (I'm a big baby. I'm choking up over here writing this.) It reminds me of home, and how simple everything used to be.

         Word of advice: don't be the person who just "can't wait to grow up". Sure, it's got a lot of perks to it, but I miss how easy it was to just be. It was easy to be me, and I made it harder than it needed to be. So don't over-complicate your life, and love today. Tomorrow will always be there, and it can wait.

Love Always,

S. Smith 

Feeling Blue

                        The issue of depression has been present in my life since I was 13, and I have learned to cope with it. But every once in a while I have my down moments. Sometimes it'll last a few minutes, like most people, but other times I can't seem to shake the shadow of sadness. I have never really been able to physically speak about it, but I have no problem writing about it. Which is a great form of therapy for me. I hope that being able to put these feelings and getting them out there for others to see will some how help me feel better. 
          I don't know if most of you know this but I do come from a fairly large family. Both parents always present, four sisters, one brother and fourteen nieces and nephews. I have always grown-up and spent my time around at least one of those people. When I got married, I literally packed up my things in a matter of days and left Washington to live in New Mexico. I left behind my hometown, all my family, and my friends. 
          I hate being the person who just picked up and walked out of so many people's lives. I hate it because I know what it feels like to have someone just decide they don't want to be around you anymore. Granted, I had a duty to fulfill, and that was to go where my husband went but I feel like a big chunk of me was left behind in Washington, and I don't know if I will ever get it back. I've lost relationships with people I never thought I'd lose and it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart knowing that I was partially responsible for the dissolution.
          A lot of people are telling me that I need to find a job, and meet new people here, but it's not as easy as it sounds. When so much of me is longing for those old pieces of me that I have left behind, it's hard to want to move forward. I miss my family, my friends (especially the ones I've lost contact with), my job at PBS, good food, rain, Starbucks and grass! 
         I am trying to be happy with what I have. Truly, I am grateful for everything that has been given and provided to me but I'm not sure if those things are what I need right now. I really don't know what it is I want to get from posting this. Possibly just the piece of mind that now someone knows how I am feeling. And maybe, just maybe, that'll change something.

love always,
S. Smith